SPECIAL FEATURE: Is Sunshine Dizon doing the right thing against Timothy Tan? A psychologist speaks

6/20/2016 6:12 PM | Updated as of 6/20/2016 6:19 PM
by: Gerry Plaza

092016-SUNSHINE3_PUSH.jpgOne scandalous marital spat amplified and vilified left and right showcasing yet another familiar film or teleserye plot utilized to the hilt.
Infidelity, which now seems too brazen yet even normal to anyone’s ears, is again on everyone’s news feed. 

Woeful posts

The continuing saga of Sunshine Dizon’s woeful Instagram posts detailing her husband Timothy Tan’s alleged transgressions brings about yet another chapter or sequel to that sad tale. And, confirming an end to that sacred bond was just so distressing and heartbreaking, especially reading one specific caption in Sunshine’s unfortunate narrative:

“You used to be my best friend, my partner in everything. We used to talk about everything and anything,” she said in an Instagram post she has since deleted. “Now I wake up from this dream and everything turned to nothing. It was all for nothing. It was all a lie.” 

Timothy had confirmed their “marital problems” and conceded that both had agreed to an “annulment,” which Sunshine denied and expressed her intent to file legal action. 

“No forgiveness”

“There is no forgiveness for what you did. No annulment for you,” she said in her now widely reported post.  “I will seek justice. I will see you both in court.”

And after revealing through the same social media account about her husband’s purported affair with a married woman just “3 floors up in the same building were (sic) my children and I live,” it seemed the charge would be concubinage.  

Sunshine’s actions present a scorned and betrayed wife who understandably would not accept such assumed treachery. 

For psychologist Dr. Randy Dellosa, it should be the best thing she can do for herself.

According to the famed resident psychologist of Pinoy Big Brother, people deal with extra marital affairs differently. There are those who would find it unacceptable and react aggressively against the partner’s infidelity, while others condone it and work around an acceptable solution just to keep the relationship going.

Values

“It depends upon the girl’s values,” he said. 
“I meet a lot of girls, sabi ang feeling nila basta ako ang uwian. Never mind if he plays around basta he comes home to me. Others naman they want to separate kaya lang they are financially dependent so okay lang to protect their relationship. So they just stay. When I talk to a person, iba iba eh. Kasi they have different rules and values. My advice to them is if you can tolerate, you stay. If you can’t, you leave,” Dr. Dellosa added.
In Sunshine’s case, it is apparent that the situation is intolerable and that all the supposed lapses unforgivable in her value set, hence her vehement rejection given all the purported circumstances she narrated. 

No one solution for all

Dr. Dellosa qualified that there is no one advice that fits all, or a common solution to face marital infidelity.  “In reality each person is different. If you give the same advice (to all), they would feel misunderstood, not come back and thus might even worsen the situation.” As such, the best solution would depend upon the mindset, beliefs and values of those undergoing the tumult.  




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